... menuhcarewha'yuwaacaallit, it'll always be guinep to me ... it's a seasonal fruit, enjoyed throughout Central America and The Caribbean, and, if you've been paying attention to Ackeelover Chronicles, you know I take fruit very seriously ...
... I have a child-like affection for this summer-bearing delight which I may have taken for granted until I came to live outside my native Jamaica ... in Canada and elsewhere I sometimes catch myself rhapsodising my way through conversations where the other party hasn't had the pleasure ... often eliciting bemused response as I romanticise this delectable drupe ...
... y'see ... botanically, guineps classify in the drupe group ...
... "what's it similar to?", comes the standard question, and even though I understand the lychee or longan comparison, it's a stretch ... when properly ripe they are a sweet, succulent, satisfying snack, inexpensively available at practically every four-way-stop intersection ... winter travellers miss the season and the opportunity to raid actual trees, which tend to grow randomly and can be fair-game if you beat local kids to the bounty ...
... the easily-cracked, removed and discarded green shell exposes a smooth flesh-covered seed, which, when sucked clean and commonly spat any-which-way, creates inoffensive, low-impact bio-litter ... tastes and textures will vary from tree to tree but you can't eat just one unless early picking leaves them too tart ...
... a quick web-search for other guinep anecdotes turns up several references to the coveted-for-its-size, twin-guinep ... a comparatively rare fruit with a double semi-ovoid seed ... but nowhere in my research did I see mention of an example with a triple seed! ... now, understand this, I've voraciously consumed these things since boyhood and never come across such a specimen ... nor has anyone I've asked ... I didn't know they even existed, yet my pickin' tree this year yielded three such examples! ... there must be profound meaning in this omen ...
... the male tree will not produce fruit ... giving rise to the term man guinep, a Jamaican jibe at men with no offspring ... and, if there is a more indelible stainer of clothing than guinep juice I'd like to be warned ... eating too many under-ripe guineps can interfere with intestinal regularity and the smooth gullet-sized seed has been known to cause accidental asphyxiation ... so ... mindfulness is required while ... um ... sucking the seed ...
... at time of writing, guinep season is winding down and I'm happy to report I feasted every chance I got, as if preparing for the inevitable day when I am back in Canada unable to procure the produce ... I even learned a thing or two which I hadn't known, despite a lifetime of experience with these things ... older folk tell me it's a great source of iron ... who knew? ...
... I'm advised now too that a certain care is required in cross-culturally referencing this fruit ... shortening mamoncillo can offend in some Latin contexts, as mamon translates to "arrogant asshole" or the more pointed "cocksucker" ... and to a Filipina, the Spanish-derived word mamon can also refer to pendulous breasts ... which, when I think about it, actually makes more sense considering the full Latin assignation ... melicoccus bijugatus ...
... I love me some bijug-at-us, but guineps will sate for now ...