... the King wears Bermuda shorts ...

... a casual linear approach to directions can locate everywhere east of west, and north of what's to the south, on this spherical planet ... 'til you actually come full circle ... therefore, all points on the globe, save both absolute poles, are co-ordinates of those four cardinal points, North, South, East and West ...

... I've just returned from the only place I can think of right now which to tends to defy this imperative, as it has popularly come to be regarded in terms of only three ... sitting in mid-Atlantic isolation is the anomalous island of Bermuda, the apex of a fabled triangulation of marine mystery ... culturally, this land is a tryptych of sorts, drawing with almost equal weight from cultures to its east, west and south, a trident of British, American and Caribbean sensibilities blending into a unique identity ...

... like other island societies, survival in the swim of world dynamics hinges on external lifelines, and more than most, Bermudian experience reflects a binding assuredness instead of centrifugal fractiousness ... to my eye, the monarchic allegiances of Bermuda's colonial heritage and the New England habitude of North American privilege sits in relatively comfortable co-existence with the influence of Afro-indenture that gives these parts so much of its color ... the sum of such parts is invariably greater than the whole and modern Bermuda stands on this platform, a remnant outpost of empire owning its strands of history and despite size, unapologetically claiming nationhood ...

... every year for the past fourteen, Bermuda has hosted BIFF, an International Film Festival welcoming cinematic expression from every worldwide source, in programmes reflective of a diversity beyond the primary trifecta of their own cultural wellspring ...

... it doesn't feel as long, but it's been three years since the 11th annual BIFF when Frances-Anne Solomon screened her film A Winter Tale to a rapt full house at Speciality Cinema in Hamilton, and now I find myself invited to serve as a juror ... BIFF 2011's cadre of short films, numbering thirty-two in all, was the largest selected for competition at this small yet important contributing festival for the gran'daddy Academy Award in this eclectic category ...

... our panel of jurors represented various perspectives and areas of expertise ... working with them was a pleasure, effectively lowering my degrees of separation vis-a-vis prominent names like Scorsese and Tarantino and projects like "48 Hours", "The King's Speech" and "Inglourious Basterds"... we divided handily into groups focussed on documentaries, features and short films, the latter category becoming the purview of publicist, producer and performer, an eager troika charged with watching all competition shorts to choose one for the jury prize ...
 

... as to be expected, or hoped for, the creativity in competition was broad in scope, artistic in presentation, tantalising to the imagination and culturally inclusive, with a dizzying array of footage all seeking to be memorable in abbreviated time ... extensive deliberation and democratic decision-making awarded the prize to super-concise storytelling in the form of a clever four minute Spanish film by Albertto Dorado called "Lost" featuring a Somalian plotline, an eight year old boy and music-over-the-credits from hot Somali-Canadian rapper K'naan ...

... there could only be one winner but in a dream world I would be King and decree all who deserve a prize to receive one ... Carlos Castineira, also of Spain, should hold on to hope for his powerful film "Easy Money" in case I ascend to the throne, as should Italy's Massimo Cappelli for his classy "41" ... two efforts out of the U.K., Peter Cattaneo's charming "Capturing Santa" and a sexy fifteen minute romp entitled "An Act of Love" by Edward Dick, would be rewarded for levity amid the de rigeur darker themed offerings of necrophilia and pedophilia ... and, were it not for a brief moment of confusion near the end, which I'm willing to consider was my own dim-switch kicking in, I might have pushed harder for Pierre Ferriere's watchable leading actress in "The Story of My Life", a riveting six minute French film ...

... this jewel of a Film Festival keeps a down-to-earth profile, not to suggest a paucity of boozy parties and hors d'ouvres between programming ... you may assume that ... but I saw cool features and documentaries, met some fascinating folks-in-flicks and had a heartfelt reunion with an old high-school friend who will henceforth lead the campaign for my coronation and act as aide de camp cum Lionel Logue ... for return payment in kind ...

... along the way I learned that the critical measure regarding Bermuda shorts is that they fall two inches above the knee ... someone should make a film about that ... I'd vote for it ...