... she sells cheesecake by the seashore ...

... the real-time web-interview lasted just over one hour ... seems some people can't live without periodic updates on their favourite castmembers from Stargate franchises ... one question put to me was, "what would people be surprised to learn about you?" ...

... my unimaginative answer went straight for the mildly anachronistic fact that I have a Geography/Archaeology Bachelor's degree, but I could just as easily have spoken about my predilection for analog audio - the type preserved in concentric grooves on retro-vinyl platters known as records ...

... my overwhelming preference is, not surprisingly, for Jamaican music-forms, but my tastes are eclectic enough to embrace multiple genres, which makes for a large collection of diverse direction ... no longer the reigning format of issuance, records are now irreverently found (if at all) in dusty corners of thrift-stores, junk-shops and clearance-houses ... 

... on a recent excursion to one such emporium, which has yielded a full set of sharp kitchen knives, sundry furniture items and utilitarian bric-a-brac, I made a foray into the boxes of forlorn LP's, in search of a way to turn one dollar into its weight in gold ... emerging grimy, but clutching a dank smelling sleeve which would regress me to the early/mid 1950's ...

... y'see, these were times when Bob was still in short pants, Ska and Rock Steady weren't yet heard, and a word like "Reggae" might have earned you a straight-jacket for sheer randomness ...

 

... back then, indigenous music in Jamaica was called Mento, a more afro-percussive folk-style than the popular Trinidadian sound-of-the-day, but similar to the casual ear and consequently often marketed as Calypso ...

 

... as it turns out, this relic really is as represented, cool calypso, significantly featuring typical ribald lyrics and uncredited vocals from Gene Wolcott a.k.a. The Charmer (later to become Louis Farrakhan, Nation Of Islam leader), among others ...

 

... I've noticed copies of this relatively rare record sell online at prices ranging from $20 to $150 depending on condition of the playing surface and the state of the cover ...

 

... and indeed, it is that cover that leads anecdotally to a most titillating tease to this curious collector ... 

 

... chiffon shrouded show-girl Venus LaDoll, who graces the front, proves an enigmatic enough figure to outshine calypsonians ... my research reveals beguiling photos of this dancer-cum-comedienne turned burlesque stripper, whose act held "hip-tossing" sway in and around the years 1953-1955 ...   

 

... the sexy pics and the "bump and grind" descriptives, by themselves, would've been sufficient to keep my interest ... but ...

... "let them eat cheesecake!" could be the post-script riposte, as this lady, who reportedly tripled her income by embracing the time honored art of striptease, may be best remembered for being awarded "a small fortune" by a food manufacturer after testifying in court that she found a bug in a can of potted ham ...

... yep, y'heard it here kids, record collecting can be fun ...

 

... summer street seen ...

... in my world Jamaican Music is a twentyfourseven, threesixtyfive prerequisite, without which life just wouldn't feel right, but sometimes it is seen as mere summertime sound with diminishing relevance as the cooler months set in ... while I strongly reject that attitude in principle, I tend to shelve my objections in July and August when, everywhere I turn, there's a bumpin' bassline or bubblin' beat to keep the vibes level ...

... at the base of the world-famous CN Tower in downtown Toronto, while testing the touchscreen camera app on a new Android Tablet, my attention was drawn to a familiar image on a vending machine ... the resultant snapshot benefitted, quite unintentionally (pinky swear), from a pair of strolling sightseers in my pre-set frame, recalling an early 90's dancehall lick that rocked clubs and looped out of every audio-cassette deck ...

  chorus:

" ... a jus' de Coca-Cola bottle shape a it a run di place,
bruck-out bruck-out gyal, a u have de shape, 

a just de Coca-Cola bottle shape, a it a run di place, 

skin-out skin-out gyal, a u have de shape ..."

   and verse:

"... inna de place, uptown girl have de shape, 

inna de place, downtown girl have de shape, 

inna de place, a London girl have de shape,

inna de place, New York girl have de shape, 

inna de place, Canadian girl have de shape,

a dem have di shape and a give man headache,

a dem have di shape mek man body shake ..."

... you get the idea ... within the genre there is always compulsion to big-up the female form, frequently in illustrative or graphic fashion ... this familiar theme, with attendant effect on the equilibrium of the enraptured beholder, is an eternal spring ...

... here on record (spot the misspellings inspired by yardspeak, a fun-for-all parlour game with reggae covers and labels), figure and bodyline are linked to curvy coke-bottle design and presented over a tuff Bogle riddim, with hooks from the quirky-smirky vocal of self-deprecatingly named DJ, Simpleton ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRUuGVu_JDM

... Christopher "Simpleton" Harrison (1971-2004), late of  St. Andrew, Jamaica, shot to fame in '91/'92 with this hit ... he reportedly suffered from high blood pressure and died of a heart attack at just 33 years old after releasing three albums ...

... I remember him, and his catchy phrasing, whenever I spy Scarlett Johanssen ... or a retro pop-vending machine ...

... "somebody pass me the bullbud!" ...

... in 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue ... so goes the enduring children's ditty ... and the rest is history, as they say, when it comes to the expansionary re-population of western lands known as The Americas and the Caribbean ...

... centuries of European-driven enterprise, enslaved African labour, indentured Asians and the inevitably cross-fertilizing populations of their descendants with more recent arrivals have evolved into societies that reflect blended identities jubilantly ... perhaps moreso than many an older culture ...

... this is a particularly identifiable feature of societies with numerically strong African bloodlines ...














... intra-regional variations abound of course, usually boasting contagious music designed primarily for partying and collective street celebrations ... from Rio de Janeiro to Toronto via The Caribbean and New Orleans, adapted African rhythms and body movement characterise carnivals, Mardi Gras style ...

... I got a taste of the recent Antigua Carnival festivities which were dominated by The Burning Flames ... part of the musical nucleus that supported Montserrat calypsonian Arrow on his huge "Hot Hot Hot" hit from 1983 ... this year's boom tune is the catchy "Bullbud" ... a coinage for a stiff homemade whipping implement fashioned from a dried donkey dong (no photo) ...














... people form themselves into tribe-like troupes for the week of ca na val ... they function like mini-economies crossed with all-inclusive clubs ... for a set participation tithe you get to wave your flag in community for the week-long party ... all day and all night, without worrying where your next drink is coming from ... sleep is the only casualty ...














... jump-up provides an annual opportunity to shuffle-bounce down high street as bare as you dare ... a stage on which a bureaucracy-bound civil servant or a by-rote clerk can release her inner virago ... where a post-partum silhouette cramps no style and reminds you that real-life ratios do not favour the svelte ... as pleasing to observe as the latter may be ...















... women of every description plot all year to assemble elaborate ensembles ... men too seize the opportunity to experience the glam thrill of face paint, glitter, lipgloss and leopard prints ...

... comfortable footwear, that will last the week but you are prepared to ruin, and bloodshot eyes complete the uniform ...














... some seize on the parade for an entirely different type of opportunity ... gettin' on bad ... this paradox of public anonimity provides a controlled outlet for the full range of our human expression ... including the eroto-sexuality which exists in all of us but still can shock and acquire taboo through denial in purportedly polite societies ...

... it's a family show for the people ... bring da kids, they're people too ... and sure as the sun shines, one day when they grow up they'll wanna let off some similar steam themselves ...














... call it Afro-Caribbean vaudeville if you like, musical street theatre ... or you could just regard it as island flava ... the essense of which is a hereditary override of an overseer's set of rules and mores ... a mindset of liberation ... in this case commemorating the original August 1st 1834 Emancipation Day in Antigua ...

... wha' you lookin' at? ... you don't like the holes in my hosiery? ... kiss mi backside! ... den come dance nuh ...













... the first week in August also sees Jamaicans celebrate the 1962 Independence from Britain with official fanfare ... in fact, all over the post-colonial world freedom triggers conscious revelry and unconscious sense-memory ... this is impetus for nation-building and fortification of cultural identity ...

... last lap, the summary parade on the final day makes for myriad photo-ops and embroiders the social fabric too ...














... of course these ain't the old days and somebody's gotta pay for all this ... corporate sponsors, like telecom player Digicel, prominent local and regional businesses from haberdasheries to motor dealerships find, in participation, a way to light up brand recognition and par-tay at the same time ...

... I suspect those that prosper most are the ones that quench the thirst and fuel the fun with spirits (rum) and beverage (beer) ...














... it would make sense that there's a certain amount of costume material re-cycling from year to year ... and ... I would like to believe that no actual peacocks, birds of paradise, or endangered species were harmed in pursuit of plumage ...













... with there being next to no trouble to speak of, it's clear a good time was had by all ...

... note to self ... wherever I'm at in a year's time I'm gonna find me some j'ouvert action ... an' get on bad!